I officially gained 5 kilos. I just checked my weight on our “trusted” weighing scale and I scored 85 kilos from 80 kilos. It’s like I went to the gym for a month for nothing. I’m actually aware about my recent “eating habits” and everyday i keep telling myself, “DO NOT EAT!” but every time i think about it, I end up eating more than what i can chew. Yes! I’m pigging out.
Hmmm… maybe because its the stress. No. I’ve had stresses like these before and i didn’t have eating problems. Maybe because i just can’t resist food? Well, that could be a factor but i could control before. Hmmmm… *light bulb* Right. I’m depressed. I’m depressed and I look for comfort on food. I feel good when i’m eating (temporarily because guilt sets in after i eat). Then i sulk in one corner thinking, i’m stupid for eating much and then i eat some more. and then i feel bad again and then i eat again. it’s like a cycle.
Just so you know, I’m bipolar. I get depress for no reason at all. and then i get ecstatic all of a sudden. i really don’t know how long they last but usually it takes 1-3 weeks.
right now, i’m thinking about all the food i put in my mouth for the whole day: Korean Barbeque + 1 rice (breakfast), French fries and PANCIT CANTON (like a whole styro pack of it) 10 minutes after breakfast, 3 packs of Funchum Apple, and then around 6 to 7 pieces of garlic chicken and 2 cups of rice + 2 bananas for dinner. Hahaha!
I can feel me getting heavier everyday actually. my belly is getting bigger too. hahaha! well, whatever. soon, i will work out again and i will eliminate the fat i’m storing. besides, i’ll be graduating soon. i will have all the time in the world to work out.
right now, i’ll be sleeping with a full stomach with a little guilt on the side.