Just had to let this feelings out. Actually right now, the only thing running on my mind is what to do next. Meaning, what should i do now that i’m not going to school anymore (of course until med school). I hate being in one place at a very long time especially at home. And i hate the feeling that i can’t move because i don’t have money to spend. I’m thinking about getting a job but i have no idea what job to take. I’m still waiting though for any announcements if there are any job openings at Abreeza may it be a waiter, a bartender or whatever’s available that could meet up my standards. Call center is also an option but its a last resort. I don’t wanna spend nights on call centers. That means social suicide. Unless of course they’re opening day jobs there. It has been a few weeks since my graduation as i always mention here. But i remain stagnant. I planned on taking the board exam this July but I had problems with cases and I’m negative about completing it before the deadline for filing at the PRC.
Just now, after I graduated that I realized I never wanted to be a nurse. I can’t see myself working as a nurse as much as i would like to. But really. My heart is not in it but do i have a choice? This is the course i finished and I guess that’s the only decent job i could get besides having my own business. I don’t like the pressure of filing this, filing that, sign this, sign that. Its too much of a hassle on my part. Call me lazy but really. its really a hassle!
Or maybe i’m just going through a phase and haven’t really matured to think about what’s more important. Or maybe i was just used to being spoon fed with this and that, that now i don’t know how to handle myself in the real world. Its scary out there and i am not prepared to face reality that i have to work to provide for my own. ambot! dili na ko kasabot sa akong gibati. its like, sana di na lang natatapos ang childhood para we don’t have to think about this. kapoy na ang mag tambay! kapoy na ang walang pero hindi ko din alam pano mag startk ung maghahanap ba ako ng trabaho, umasa na lang sa parents until my luck reaches me, stay bum all my life. i don’t know what to do! no one showed me what to do next! i’m better at something if someone shows me what to do.
anyway, I guess that’s it for now. Until the next rant. I’m just scared. Confused.